My sweet boy

A year ago today, we were on our way to the hospital to get our little boy ready to come home.  We took turns holding Dylan and giving him millions of kisses. After filling out paperwork, the transport team came.  Dylan was so tiny and was so padded up that we told him it looked like he was flying to the moon. One parent was allowed to ride the ambulance...and I bet you can guess which one of us went ;)

Thankfully, Patrick understood that there was no way I was letting our boy out of my sight. The ride only took 20min or so and when we pulled into the driveway we were greeted by all of Dylan's grandparents, two great grandmas, his aunt and uncle, and the dog (the cat waited inside).

Everyone was able to snuggle and have their time to say goodbye. We took Dylan around the house, showed him his room and his crib. We helped him pet the dog and cat. And took Dylan outside to feel the sun and wind on his face, and wave his little hand through blades of grass. After a couple hours the extended family left, so that Patrick and I had time.

Patrick and I sang and danced with Dylan, rocked with him in the rocking chair telling him countless times how special he was and how much we loved him.  Patrick promised Dylan that mommy and daddy would be alright.

I was holding Dylan in my arms while Patrick was telling the doctors that we wouldn't have changed a thing and that to us, Dylan was perfect.

Dylan took his final breath in my arms.

I love you peanut, to the moon and back. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much but we hang onto the hope and belief that we will see you again.

To our family and friends, thank you so very much for the support over the last year. We would not have been able to make it without you.