Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Introducing Noah Dylan

Thank you for your patience with my lack of posting pictures of our little man.  We both needed to be ready to do so.

We went into the hospital tuesday night (Jan 29th) to start the induction.  I didn't sleep.  I started being uncomfortable immediately after the first dose was given, and let's be honest, those beds are NOT comfortable.  We also knew that going in, Noah had roughly a 50/50 chance of surviving the labor.  Odds have not been in our favor.  We prayed for miracle after miracle, but once we learned that information, all I prayed for was a chance to meet my son. A chance for him to hear me and his daddy tell him that we loved him. A chance for him to feel our loving arms embrace him. We prayed and prayed.

Another dose given 8 hrs later with no real improvement... Our parents arrived throughout the morning and kept us company.  I was allowed to get breakfast, but at that point already I was really starting to have contractions.  I ordered some jello :)

With induction medications, labor is quite different (I don't know from my own experiences since I was induced both times with my boys, but according to the nurses and drs I know and some girlfriends it's different!)  Induction meds make the contractions more intense, as you don't get the break into between them as you would normally.  YAY! Not.

Noah was a VERY active little man.  He would let me know he was doing ok throughout my pregnancy with a kick here and stretch there, it was a constant in my day.  When we started the induction, it was no different.  After every contraction, he gave me a nudge saying "it's all good mommy, I'm still here!" That made my next decision VERY easy.

The contractions were getting stronger and I was in some major pain.  I was offered an epidural and prior to us going in, had meetings with the drs to discuss my options for pain.  Most recommended the epidural so that I wouldn't be groggy when Noah was born. I did NOT want to be groggy especially if we were blessed with some time with him.  But I also didn't not want to lose the feeling of him kick and punch.  I choose IV pain medication and we tried a fast acting half dose at first to test out the effects.  It helped with the pain and did not make me feel like I had had one too many.

I refused the epidural.

The pain got worse, the medical team reminded me that it would not be giving up to get the epidural.  I told them, "as long as he's letting me know he's in there and ok, I'm not getting one". It wasn't about a natural birth, it was about feeling my boy.

**Please note! I am NOT saying that everyone should not get an epidural.  You need to do what is right FOR YOU and YOUR baby.  I don't know if I could ever do that again, but given our circumstances, that was what the right choice was for me.  And I did get one with Dylan. I would NEVER judge what another woman decides to do during her labor (unless you went out and had a smoke or tipped back a beer).**

The pain and contractions were building, I was in some major pain and the IV meds didn't feel like they were doing much. And then all of a sudden, it happened.  Something felt...different.  I let our parents know that they should probably head out and the nurse was called to check on me.  She confirmed what I had thought and my Dr was paged.  I got sick a few times and then my dr arrived.  The pressure was building and we just let the pressure run the show.  First my bag of waters broke and VERY shortly after Noah arrived (on Wednesday, January 30th)

Both Patrick and I looked up at the Dr and she said, "He's alive!" I think we both started crying because we were SO happy that we would get the honor to meet Noah. One of the nurses put Noah on my chest right after Patrick cut his umbilical cord.  We had some time, just the 3 of us and then we asked our FANTASTIC photographer (who had been at the hospital for at least 4 hours waiting and then an additional 5 hours after Noah was born to get more pictures with our family members) to come in and get some of our first pictures.

one of our first pictures <3

Noah always had a hand up near his face on his ultrasounds,
and he immediately felt comfortable in this pose.

Have you ever seen a more perfect little head?

a profile shot from my phone :)

Our beautiful baby boy

We were blessed with just under two hours with our brave boy.  Our prayers had been answered.  Not only did we get the opportunity to tell Noah how much we loved him, kiss him, and snuggle him, but it all happened without Noah struggling or being uncomfortable.  Noah died peacefully in daddy's arms.

If you are in the Wisconsin area and need a photographer for anything, you need to check out Front Room Photography.  We hired Eron for our wedding and Neil took our pictures of Dylan and Noah.  What frp does that we LOVE, is that they capture moments.  There isn't any goofy posing.  They don't set up romantic kisses, they catch you doing the real raw emotional deal.  We LOVE every picture this great group has captured.  And we would hire them all over again.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

A Special Thank You

When you go through a hard time, the last thing on your mind is taking care of yourself in the eating sense.  You are curled up in a ball crying, you are watching mindless tv to get your mind off it, you are NOT thinking about dinner.

Our neighbors and friends rallied together and set up a meal schedule for us, where a meal was made and delivered or ordered and delivered right to our house, 3 nights a week for the last couple of weeks.  I cannot put into words how much this helped us, other than it was a HUGE help.  There were afternoons that I forgot to eat lunch because I was wrapped up into something else and didn't think about it.  Those meals reminded us to eat, gave us an opportunity to pray together, and provided us with delicious tasting food that I don't think either one one who have been able to bake or cook ourselves at the time.

Thank you all so much that helped out. It truly meant a lot to both of us and kept us going. I would also like to say that we would love all the recipes too ;)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Very cool (IMMB follow up)

You might remember that a year or so ago, I donated my remaining breast milk from Dylan to the Indiana Milk Bank (see story here).

What they do for bereaved families that donate:
As part of the healing process, we offer you the opportunity to have your little one join our Giving Tree Memorial. This beautiful plaque tree is displayed in our office to honor babies who have passed and families who have donated in their memory. 

So I received an email a few days ago, letting me know that Dylan's leaf was ready and put up with the tree <3

Here are the pictures they sent me

I think it's a great program, and a great way to honor our children's memory.  They also thanked me again for my donation and said that I helped so many families :) Thank you IMMB for making my day.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Slowly making our way back

Hello friends, thank you for understanding my break from here.

So, as I've talked about MANY times on here :) I met some pretty awesome women on the bump when I was pregnant with Dylan.  When I had gotten back from that scary ultrasound, I had posted an update on the bump and decided I was going to take some time off.  However, I learned that there was a handful of other ladies who had also gotten scary news.  So I organized a little pick-me-up group that sent cards to each other every other week or so, just to brighten each other's day.  One of those ladies was Rachel.  Her story is HER story and I won't post any other details to respect her and her family. When we found out that Noah was only going to be with us for a short time, Rachel reached out to me again.  Rachel is a photographer a state or two away from us, and she wanted to help us get wonderful memories of being pregnant with Noah.

And that she did.

We actually went to the location where Patrick and I were married and were fortunate enough to get an overcast and unseasonably warm January day. We had a great time and LOVE EVERY.SINGLE.PICTURE! Thank you Rachel!

To see more of Rachel's work go here!