Monday, October 22, 2012
MOD VLC conference
We are back!! And we had a wonderful time! We met with other top March of Dimes teams, and got to hear their stories and share ours with them. I am SO pumped and excited to start fundraising for next year already I can hardly wait!! Pictures to come soon!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My sweet boy
A year ago today, we were on our way to the hospital to get our little boy ready to come home. We took turns holding Dylan and giving him millions of kisses. After filling out paperwork, the transport team came. Dylan was so tiny and was so padded up that we told him it looked like he was flying to the moon. One parent was allowed to ride the ambulance...and I bet you can guess which one of us went ;)
Thankfully, Patrick understood that there was no way I was letting our boy out of my sight. The ride only took 20min or so and when we pulled into the driveway we were greeted by all of Dylan's grandparents, two great grandmas, his aunt and uncle, and the dog (the cat waited inside).
Everyone was able to snuggle and have their time to say goodbye. We took Dylan around the house, showed him his room and his crib. We helped him pet the dog and cat. And took Dylan outside to feel the sun and wind on his face, and wave his little hand through blades of grass. After a couple hours the extended family left, so that Patrick and I had time.
Patrick and I sang and danced with Dylan, rocked with him in the rocking chair telling him countless times how special he was and how much we loved him. Patrick promised Dylan that mommy and daddy would be alright.
I was holding Dylan in my arms while Patrick was telling the doctors that we wouldn't have changed a thing and that to us, Dylan was perfect.
Dylan took his final breath in my arms.
I love you peanut, to the moon and back. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much but we hang onto the hope and belief that we will see you again.
To our family and friends, thank you so very much for the support over the last year. We would not have been able to make it without you.
Thankfully, Patrick understood that there was no way I was letting our boy out of my sight. The ride only took 20min or so and when we pulled into the driveway we were greeted by all of Dylan's grandparents, two great grandmas, his aunt and uncle, and the dog (the cat waited inside).
Everyone was able to snuggle and have their time to say goodbye. We took Dylan around the house, showed him his room and his crib. We helped him pet the dog and cat. And took Dylan outside to feel the sun and wind on his face, and wave his little hand through blades of grass. After a couple hours the extended family left, so that Patrick and I had time.
Patrick and I sang and danced with Dylan, rocked with him in the rocking chair telling him countless times how special he was and how much we loved him. Patrick promised Dylan that mommy and daddy would be alright.
I was holding Dylan in my arms while Patrick was telling the doctors that we wouldn't have changed a thing and that to us, Dylan was perfect.
Dylan took his final breath in my arms.
I love you peanut, to the moon and back. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much but we hang onto the hope and belief that we will see you again.
To our family and friends, thank you so very much for the support over the last year. We would not have been able to make it without you.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
A Big Loss
Please keep our family in your thoughts as we had to say goodbye to a great man. A man who gave his all in everthing he did, he loved with his whole heart. We will miss you dearly Uncle Mike. Love you!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Don't kids say the cutest things?
I always love hearing stories about something cute a child said and if it involves Dylan, I double love it :) I have permission to share this story with you, I asked!
So I have a pregnant friend, who is going to have baby #2 any minute now!, who has an adorable 3 year old girl.
Mom told me that her daughter reached out and touched her baby bump and asked if this baby was going to have wings. Mom thought for a moment about what on earth her daughter had seen on tv, but replied "no, this baby will not have wings". The little girl thought about it and said, "but baby Dylan had wings to go up there (as she points to the sky and heaven)". Her mom responded with,"Yes, he did, but he was very special". To which the little one answered, "because he is an angel"
It still is making me tear up :) I LOVE it and thank you SO so much for sharing it with me.
Interestingly enough, the father of this cutie actually did tell my husband this story last weekend. What's funny is that it was a completely different version! A mom vs a dad version of the story :)
So I have a pregnant friend, who is going to have baby #2 any minute now!, who has an adorable 3 year old girl.
Mom told me that her daughter reached out and touched her baby bump and asked if this baby was going to have wings. Mom thought for a moment about what on earth her daughter had seen on tv, but replied "no, this baby will not have wings". The little girl thought about it and said, "but baby Dylan had wings to go up there (as she points to the sky and heaven)". Her mom responded with,"Yes, he did, but he was very special". To which the little one answered, "because he is an angel"
It still is making me tear up :) I LOVE it and thank you SO so much for sharing it with me.
Interestingly enough, the father of this cutie actually did tell my husband this story last weekend. What's funny is that it was a completely different version! A mom vs a dad version of the story :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
What to say?
Ok so as you all know, October is a hard month for us. And for our parents, siblings, and extended families (including friends). I don't really have any advice for you. Well, I take that back. This is the anniversary that I have been dreading the most. As I've stated before, not talking about Dylan is what hurts. I would talk about him ALL. THE. TIME. if people wouldn't have me committed.
If you are family or friends or ours, or someone else who has lost a child, please remember we are not expecting you to have the answers. We don't expect you to know "why". But please don't ignore us or treat us like we have a contagious disease. If you ask me about Dylan and I cry, THAT'S OK! I SWEAR! You might catch me at an emotional time, but I would rather you ask me how I'm doing (and sincerely, I'm NOT talking about the "how ya doing? with your foot halfway out the door) and me end up crying then you not asking at all. And come on, I cry anyways... It's good to let that out. Family and friends shouldn't be afraid of a couple of tears! Be worried/afraid if I refuse to bathe or get out of bed, not if I cry. And don't you worry, I promised Dylan that I would not do that and I have a stockpile of body wash thanks to my couponing skills and the great Collin at hip2save.com ;)
That goes for the rest of this family. I know one of Dylan's grandmothers is really struggling right now, but who's to say the others aren't or that Dylan's grandfathers aren't. Honestly? I think they are afraid to put that "burden" on us. So I ask you to maybe reach out to them and ask them how they are doing. Call them, just to tell them you love them and are thinking about them right now. You have no idea what that small gesture can do. It's HUGE.
Please keep us and other families in mind when anniversary's come up. It's important for us to know that our precious children are not forgotten and that their memories live on.
We will actually be flying to Orlando on the 17th and I was really nervous about being a complete wreck that day. A friend of mine (that I met because of Dylan) told me that "at least you will spend the day, in the sky closer to Dylan and on your way to an amazing new adventure in your life" And she is absolutely right.
If you are family or friends or ours, or someone else who has lost a child, please remember we are not expecting you to have the answers. We don't expect you to know "why". But please don't ignore us or treat us like we have a contagious disease. If you ask me about Dylan and I cry, THAT'S OK! I SWEAR! You might catch me at an emotional time, but I would rather you ask me how I'm doing (and sincerely, I'm NOT talking about the "how ya doing? with your foot halfway out the door) and me end up crying then you not asking at all. And come on, I cry anyways... It's good to let that out. Family and friends shouldn't be afraid of a couple of tears! Be worried/afraid if I refuse to bathe or get out of bed, not if I cry. And don't you worry, I promised Dylan that I would not do that and I have a stockpile of body wash thanks to my couponing skills and the great Collin at hip2save.com ;)
That goes for the rest of this family. I know one of Dylan's grandmothers is really struggling right now, but who's to say the others aren't or that Dylan's grandfathers aren't. Honestly? I think they are afraid to put that "burden" on us. So I ask you to maybe reach out to them and ask them how they are doing. Call them, just to tell them you love them and are thinking about them right now. You have no idea what that small gesture can do. It's HUGE.
Please keep us and other families in mind when anniversary's come up. It's important for us to know that our precious children are not forgotten and that their memories live on.
We will actually be flying to Orlando on the 17th and I was really nervous about being a complete wreck that day. A friend of mine (that I met because of Dylan) told me that "at least you will spend the day, in the sky closer to Dylan and on your way to an amazing new adventure in your life" And she is absolutely right.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Fall
While I absolutely LOVE fall COLORS, I am having a hard time with this particular month.
I used to look forward to it. My sister's, grandmother's, best friend's and my birthday all fall in October. But then last year, I had to say goodbye to my sweet boy on October 17th.
I'm not trying to be a debbie downer, but that probably is part of the reason why I haven't posted for a couple of days... well that and I'm not sure how many of you are out there ;)
I hope that you are all enjoying the crispness in the air, and the beautiful landscape. If not, STOP what you are doing and get your butt outside! It's been helping me a little.
I used to look forward to it. My sister's, grandmother's, best friend's and my birthday all fall in October. But then last year, I had to say goodbye to my sweet boy on October 17th.
I'm not trying to be a debbie downer, but that probably is part of the reason why I haven't posted for a couple of days... well that and I'm not sure how many of you are out there ;)
I hope that you are all enjoying the crispness in the air, and the beautiful landscape. If not, STOP what you are doing and get your butt outside! It's been helping me a little.
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