The last few days, I've been really teary...and I sort of just figured that time of the month was coming up (sorry Male readers) but as I was sitting here, crying for the nearly 5th time today it hit. "Duh, you idiot!"
It's so crazy how feelings and emotions of love, pain, grief (and others but these are mine right now) can just take over. You can fight it for only so long, and then it overflows. And even oozes out of your pores.
Crying is healthy and a release, sometimes I just wish I had more control of when it over takes me, lol.
It might be hard for some to understand why Mother's day is one of the worst holidays for me. But their birthdays are full of joy for me. It's the day I met them, face to face. The day they passed away, well that day is the same as Noah's birthday and we choose to celebrate getting to hold our precious boy for those two hours he was here on Earth with us. The day we said goodbye to Dylan, while sad, was also wonderful. Dylan got to go home. He was able to leave the hospital and all the beeping behind him, feel the sun and be held by his immediate family and hear countless times how loved he was.
And not that I don't have a reminder every.single.day. that they aren't here...because I do, but Mother's day is like pouring a bottle of salt in an open wound.
So please keep me, and other mother's (ALL mothers!) in your thoughts and prayers on Sunday.
