Walk for Hope 2013

This past weekend, Patrick and I went to the Wisconsin Walk for Hope.

It's a walk organized by a family that lost their little girl, Hannah.  And it's for all families that have lost a child.  They survive 100% on donations, and this is even is free for the grieving families.  They have t-shirts for you to decorate (we write our children's names and a little something to them), Compassionate friends, another great org, makes buttons with your pictures, and a very moving balloon release before we walk along the lake.  It might all sound simple, but there's something about being surrounded by other people that know what you've gone through, that understand that loss.

Here are some pictures from the day:

Patrick forgetting to look at the camera ;)
while holding our balloons for our angels.

I LOVE this one.

All those balloons, for all those children...
They had notes to them attached

Lately

To follow up, I have started my poppy painting :) Still need to finish my thank you cards! And haven't started the baby book... but all in good time, right?

So holidays suck. I think they will forever now.  Even ones like the 4th of July and memorial day (as opposed to Thanksgiving and Christmas...the ones everyone thinks about).  It's a time to be with your family.  So it's just a reminder of what's missing.  NOT that I don't think about my children every second of every day, because I do.  It's seeing all the other families together, with their kids...the dads playing with their sons and the moms snuggling and kissing... it's hard.

But on the 3rd of July, I received a package.  Not just any package! It had Noah's Molly Bear inside!

Weighing 1# 13oz just like our boy did,  it was the best gift to come home to.

What are Molly Bears you ask?? They are a GREAT non-profit organization that makes bears for grieving families in the weight of their lost child.  They started because Molly's mom was given a teddy bear weighing what her precious Molly weighed when she passed away and it brought her so much comfort.  She was in support groups, like us, and started making them for those families and soon had so many requests that they started the organization.  They work and create bears solely on donations, so if you've got a spare $20, think about donating it to this amazing group!

Learn more about Molly Bears here


What did you do last night??

We ran in the Storm the Bastille event here in Milwaukee. It's a super fun 5K running through the downtown area.  I recently hurt my knee and had not been running much and the re-tweaked it on Monday night so I wasn't sure I was going to be up for it.  But I woke up thursday and felt great. I didn't run as hard as I wanted to, but I didn't want to re-injure myself!  But it was a lot of fun!

Are you going any fun runs this year??

Projects

So I, like many people (I HOPE!) have these great plans to make or do certain things :)

I WANT to do them! And I plan to!

Maybe if I tell you all about them, I WILL do them and you can help keep me in line and accountable! ;)

I'm only going to write a couple of my goals, as I've picked through them so I don't over whelm myself and give up! Do you do that?

ok here goes!

1. Finish all my business thank you's for their donations to our March of Dimes auction.  This is important for several reasons! One, I AM thankful that they donated! I want them to know that it meant something to me that they did. And maybe they will donate again, if I choose to continue with the kick off events. This is about 1/4-1/3 done as of today (7/2/13)

2. Paint my poppy painting for our kitchen.  The final color scheme of our kitchen is a terra cotta orange against wood cabinets and turquoise accents. So I wanted to paint orange poppies with a turquoise sky to sort of tie it all together.

a combo of these two pics :)

3. This is the big one and this one will take me more time, but someone needs to do this! I want to make a baby book for mama's out there like me. Who find out during their pregnancy that something might be wrong.  A book that focuses on helping moms remember the details about the pregnancy, etc. I wanted baby books for both boys, but they ALL have "Baby's first steps" , "Baby's first word" and so on...pages that would be left empty and hurt more because I know that I will never see Dylan's first steps or hear Noah's first word.  So I don't buy the books and no I have no baby books.

I don't think I'm alone here. I have a feeling there would be other mom's out there that would like these.

What do you think? and please feel free to ask how I'm doing on these!! ;)

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday!

Return to Zero

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I openly talk about my children.  I will always talk about my children.  Older generations had a tendency NOT to talk about their losses and it was kind of taboo.

Well, I'm not a quiet person.

I WILL talk about my children as they will forever be my children as well as a part of me.  I have actually received so many emails asking me for advice on what they can do for a family member, friend, or co-worker that has lost a child.  It actually feels great to be able to help others help other grieving parents.



You may have noticed some different "profile" pictures on facebook recently like this:

(or just with the 3-1=0)

and wondered what it was about.

It's about a movie that is based on the true story of a successful couple preparing for the arrival of their first child. Just weeks before their due date they discover that their son has died in the womb and will be stillborn. Lives and relationship forever altered by the loss, they try to cope through denial, escape and alcohol, but nothing can save their marriage. And that's when they discover that they're again pregnant (from a last ditch 'save the marriage' getaway to Las Vegas), and must come together to face a turbulent and terrifying pregnancy. 

The movie is titled, Return to Zero

Yes, bring the tissues.

It's going to be a difficult and emotional movie for sure, but just think about what it's doing.

It's bringing awareness to child loss, miscarriages, still births...

It's helping to open up conversations about these beautiful children who left us too soon.

Please check out the video here: Return to Zero

I've become a local leader here in Milwaukee and have pledged to go see it.  They are trying to bring it to Hollywood and get it out there for everyone to see.  Please pledge to see this movie! Please help break the silence! Please help honor the memories of all the babies and children lost.

Go here to pledge!

What does pledging mean??? It is just you saying that you will see it. No money, or donation.  Just you saying, "Yes, I will see this"

PLEASE!

For those in the Wisconsin/Illinois area's please feel free to enter me as your local leader. Heck, you out of staters too if you want :)

Please help get the word out about this movie and pledge to help break the silence.

I swear, I swear

I will try and get better about posting on here more regularly!

hmmm...what's new....

Not a whole lot...I've been online shopping like it's going out of style! But how can I help it when I can get a super cute sweater for like $10 when it was normally $60! :)
And earning money back with some of my favorite coupon sites (OF COURSE! Almost $120 on just one!!)

I need to make more of my family donation packs for the NICU here.  I've heard that people are loving them and very appreciative!

I'm trying to do small little upgrades in the house to make it more "us" and so far I'm thrilled with what we've done! (Pictures soon! I promise!)

Father's Day

Father's Day is Sunday and I hope that all the dads out there have a great day.

We've been talking about it in our house, about what Patrick wants to do and going back and worth on it. Because as you all know,  Father's day is just as hard as Mother's day.

But grieving dads are sometimes over looked.

Patrick has told me more often than not, people ask him how I'm doing...but not asking him how's he's doing.

Let me tell you something, that man's pain is just as raw as mine.

No he didn't carry our boys in his belly, but he read to them while they were in mine.  He helped get me whatever they, or I, or we :) were craving.

And his heart is broken in a million pieces, just like mine.

So please don't forget about ALL the dad's out there on Sunday.

What does a father want for Father's Day?  He wants to hear about his child.  Phone calls, conversations, notes, cards, memories about their child is the best gift.  To hear something wonderful about their child that is gone is the best gift of all.  Do the father's ever ask for this?  Of course not...do they wish everyone knew about this request? Absolutely!

So what are you going to give a bereaved father this weekend?  A memory, a humorous story, a laugh, a cry?  The mention of a father's child is the best gift of all!

And here's to some of the best dad's I know!

Love you daddy! You're a wonderful dad and a girl couldn't ask for better!

I'm lucky because I LOVE my father-in-law :) And I know my husband is such a great dad because he had such a great role model ;)

And to my wonderful husband, our children were so blessed to have you as their daddy. Such a warm and compassionate man and full of love, you're hands down the best.

And here's a poem that was shared on our support board this morning:

MY DADDY’S GRIEF
If you ask my Dad how he feels?
He’ll probably be as quiet as the midnight air
Because of this horrible pain he tries to bare
And If you ask him and he just quietly sighs
Look harder, you’ll see the pain in his eyes
Even if he does happen to tell you he’s coping
Then that just surely means…….He is hoping?
If he happens to mutter out, I’m surviving today
Oh then trust me, you know he is really not Ok
He has been so very quiet since that awful day
It’s just so hard for him to find the words to say
He really thinks he has to be stronger than steel
But he is just very fragile, suffering this ordeal
He feels like he has to hide away all those tears
Just suck it all in, and show no one of his fears
I’m his child in heaven, and he’s hurting oh so bad
He gets up and goes every day, even though he’s sad
He watches my mommy cry and holds her oh so tight
He always tears up, but holds back with all of his might
If you ask, how are you today, and he says oh I’m just fine
He’s really not; he needs a hug, that’s definitely a sure sign
His heart is burdened with such terrible doubts often everyday
Please let him know, he didn’t let me down or fail in any way
I know he loves me very much and he thinks of me each day
But his poor heart is so broken, so please help him find a way
To find peace, comfort and a voice to shed his grief and pain
For without it, he cannot start to heal and lighten grief’s stain
Also tell him its ok to lose it, break down and shed those tears
Cause it takes more strength to cry, then to hold back the fears
I love you daddy, I’m always here with you, we’re never far apart
So for me, could you begin to heal and open back up your heart.

In Loving Memory of my Angel Boy, Matthew Hunter Vinson
Author JP Vinson
Written February 7, 2013


ALSO!! I've got 3 free shutterfly book codes to give away for NEW USERS only! Please leave your email address if you are interested!

House help! Give us YOUR opinions!! :)

UPDATED WITH NEW COLOR SUGGESTIONS :)

Hi all!

Hope you're having a great week! Ours started on the bumpy side, but it's sunny skies today :)

Alright so let's get down to business!

We want to do a couple of things to our house. One of the things were have been discussing are shutters.  We have a cute little cape cod style house and I wanted to add to that character.

But holy cats, there are so MANY color options!

So here's where you come in :) (and please keep in mind this is my first time playing around with this software, so it's not perfect)

We are thinking about two different colors, but feel free to offer up any other color suggestions!


So here's our cute little house:

Here's option 1: Dark Grey

and here's Option 2: Plum

What do you guys think???

Seriously, PLEASE comment with your feedback!!!


Thank you!

Green:

Sage: